Wednesday, August 16, 2017

I KNOW: I WATCHED IT LIVE

The Boston Red Sox pull off a rare, triple-play against
the FADING St. Louis Cardinals last night.

In the 4th inning, with two runners on, nobody out, Catcher Yadiar Molina stroked a sharp liner down the third base line.

The Red Sox' Rookie sensation, Rafael Devers, the 20-year-old rookie 3Baseman, started the triple play by stepping on third, gunning the ball to Second for the out, and then on to First Base to finalize the deal.

And it was a beautiful thing to behold~  perfection.





In the 10-4 loss to the Boston team, the St. Louis Cardinals cemented their hold on the WORST record against the American League, and especially against the Red Sox (since 2004), by hitting into two double plays and this triple play, all within 4 innings.

Then the Red Sox scored 8 runs in the bottom of the 5th inning, to seal the deal, sending 13 batters to the plate~

"HIGHSCHOOL MADNESS"


Presenting honest stories 
of working people,
as told by rich,
Hollywood stars!

"Porgie Tirebiter, he's a spy
and a girl-delighter,
Porgie FireFighter, He's a student
like You~"

"If you're looking for a Captain for
the Ringball team, 
You can bet he won't be there--
You'll find him poppin' off at Pop's Sodium Shop, 
tarailin' the Red with Red hair~!  'Doobie Doo Waah'"

"Porgie Tirebiter, just a student like you, 
Just a student like youuuuu-uuu"

Bombs Away, Dad, Morning Mom~!



and HYMN 15-17, from the same album:



"A mighty Hot Dog, is our Lord~!"
************************
I'm Unable To Say "Skibboleff" properly
Being a rag-tag Gentile and all~
Sorry!

Next Monday's Solar Eclipse, 8-21-2017

"Great Signs in the Sky"

The pre-eclipse hype is becoming waist deep on the Internet, with everything from "Doomsday for America" to "Planet Nibiru to be Seen", to "God's EndTime Sign to the World".

And there's nothing really wrong with promoting the Solar Eclipse; I do urge everyone to be outside and witness it, where you are-- we will for sure, here in Eastern Oklahoma, where the projected blockage of the Sun's surface will be occluded by the New Moon, by 88% --




... leaving only a crescent Arc of Sun to be seen (at our latitude)~

But while this crescent sun looks uncomfortably like a part of a particular Islamic insignia, 
I wonder whether signage from Madison Avenue ...
~ wouldn't be more appealing to Americans:

"A really good Sign in the Sky"


Notice the Similarity? 
Now I'm hungry....
maybe I'll be at the Poteau Burger King restaurant

at 1:13 (13:13) pm, Monday.....

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

"Gone"



I'll never get over your loss; Good bye~
All that either of us have now,
are warm memories of our time together, 

A star that burns so bright, only lasts half-as
long, they say~  That was our friendship

With The Coming Nuclear Extinction,

... everything will die.

Let's call it Quits, over some very minor disagreement, which could be quelled with some proper discussions by diplomats, 

But No, instead let's threaten everyone, everywhere, everyTime.

Nuclear war will not only kill us all, who are alive today, but also the memories of some of History's Greatest People, because there will be nobody left to remember them~


Marilyn Monroe-- Gone, never to be remembered~ 

Benjamin Franklin-- Likewise.

the apostle Paul-- no remaining evidence

Abraham Lincoln-- just theoretic

There was never anybody named "Cincinnatus" and there was never a great American city named for him, and therefore, there was never WKRP:   *(... maybe you and me were never meant to be, just maybe think of me, once in a while-)



Scott Joplin-- never heard of him

Jackie Robinson -- what color barrier?  
What Was 'baseball'?

Every history of every person who ever lived, will be snuffed out and gone~


My mother, your mother, Your best friend, Our Children,
no one will be remembered, as if their lives never existed and never mattered.

This bloggie will never have existed, 
and you will not be remembered reading this
at all,
after a nuclear war.  

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Pyong-MOON Over Pyong Wang

IT'S THE STORY OF A NEEDY LADY, WHO WAS BARREN
'CAUSE OF HER DISTINCT BELIEFS

& HER APPROVED, AFFILIATED HUSBAND,
A SORRY WIMPY, 
SO THEY WERE ALL ALONE~

THEN THIS ONE DAY WHEN THIS FELLOW MET ANOTHER, 
& THEY KNEW THAT THEY MIGHT JUST HAVE A CHANCE~

IF THE STRANGER
WOULD ONLY SCREW HIS OTHER, 
THEN THEY MIGHT JUST ADVANCE~

"(IT'S) THE SHORTWOOD BUNCH, THE SHORTWOOD BUNCH,

LET''S ALL ACT LIKE IT'S  JUST AS CALM AS EATING LUNCH~!!"


TODAY'S EPISODE, "PLUCKING THE FLOWER"....


















































































....
The Next Morning ....,

The rest is pretty explicit, in NorKo terms; watch the top-rated North Korean film,
"The Unfolding Secret Flower", below:





Saturday, August 12, 2017

THE PICTURE OF
DORIAN R. CLINTON-GREY


This, from what, maybe 1993 or so?  

IS THIS SUBLIMINAL, or WHAT??

The Official Portrait of the First Lady,
Hillary Clinton,
in a totally Black pantsuit, her right claw resting on a table including an empty, oval picture frame, an empty candle holder, and an imaginary book (look closely, there's No title on that book);  Hillary's other claw is on the back of an empty, cushion-less, ugly chair . 

- Empty, because whoever was supposed to be sitting there, was found dead by suicide, on the night before~

The entire image is nothing but "VACUOUS". 
ALL AN EMPTY SHELL~

And do you see all the depressing, Blue, Black, Brown and Grey colours featured~? 

Of course, this is a composite portrait
(NOTICE the floor (-poorly) blending in with the background wall?) That's probably because Hillary's ass was really that broad; OR, her three, personal buffet tables were airbrushed out~

Because the shrieking Hill monster couldn't stand THAT still, long enough for a true portrait, before reverting into an alligator....  I'm at least happy that her penis' bulge is unnoticed also~

And her ghoulish,  Pepsodent "smile" --  AND what are her measurements, 
maybe 31-38-46?



WHAT GREATER LOVE THAN THIS~


Matthew 26: 36-39

36 Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to His disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 
37 And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and distressed. 38 Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.”
39 And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.”



Have a wonderful weekend, and remember to
Adore and Love our Saviour, the GOD-Man, Jesus Christ,
who died a brutal death before our Most HolyFather GOD,
as the sacrificial redemption of our sins,
so that we all could be with HIM, enveloped in total love, forevermore~! 

Friday, August 11, 2017

OMG ~

thank You, Jesus

I AM CLOUSEAU,
CLOUSEAU AM ME

Halo, Bonsoir, It is I, your malcontent locale, pulling down the covers to expose the indignant socialist bohinneys here in Pareee



Aided by the inspired, brilliant comedy of actor Herbert Lom,
as Chief Inspector Dreyfus:


WHERE, OH WHERE ARE YOU TONIGHT?


The Best of ... Hee Haw



SALLLL UTE~!

The closest that the program "Hee Haw" ever came to saluting a town near me, was late in their years, maybe 1975, when they celebrated "Heavener, Oklahoma", about 20 miles south of my hometown, Poteau, Oklahoma.  (pronounced properly as Heave-eN-r)

The Mystery of the $54.30 Bonus

Here is the situation:

I'm a tax auditor for the state of Oklahoma, OK?
My wife is a former head bank teller for a local banking enterprise in Southeast Oklahoma.

Precision is what we do, financially; 
normally, we know where every cent comes from,
and where it goes.

Until now.  The mystery of the bonus $54.30 into our
joint checking account, since Wednesday, August 2, 2017.

We're bewildered-- We're literally at a loss--
Leti's contacted every utility to inquire whether they've refunded a deposit-- (that's what it sounds like to me~)
even from when we lived in Yannush two years ago, & 'NO'.

Where did the $54.30 come from???

Since we noticed it in our account, around August 4, I've made inquiries at my state Treasurer's office, doctors' offices, the Choctaw Nation (our mortgage holder), all of our insurance companies, even Kelsey's college fund, all with the very same reply, "No, sorry, if we were to send you a refund/rebate, our office would send you a paper check."

We both have gone through our bank statements for the past 12 months, looking for any entry for the amount "$54.30", which may have been rejected, and therefore unpaid.
"NO" again.
Our online checking account register looks exactly like our own records, with that one exception:  One day our checking balance reads 'X', then the very next entry reads 'X+$54.30'.

When I'm paid, our electronic, online account reads "Load from OKLA.STATE.TREASURY".....
the $54.30 was added just about 45 minutes before my August paycheck was deposited~!  
As a credit, and un-attributed.  So Far~  

(and NO, I will not call up my bank to inquire, as per my wife's instruction). 
Letting that sleeping dog lie~!

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

The Upcoming "United We Stand for Colin Kaepernick” Rally

What an ungodly BAD NAME for a rally, for this former NFL QB: 

"United We Stand,
Kneeling Down You Fall" would've been
a far more recognizable slogan for the disgraced, 
former San Francisco 49's quarterback. 

I have no love, no respect for this guy,
"Colin Kaepernick",
at all. The idea that ESPN and Spike Lee have come around to try and save, to shop this mediocre, affirmative-action football player to NFL teams, is just so stupid it hurts.

It hurts nobody more than the U.S.-hating player in question, Mr. Kaepernick. His best chance at starting QB was in San Francisco; trying to force his signing by another team
would be suicidal for that unfortunate team.

I cannot think of any other NFL team which would want to attract such unpatriotic disfavor of fans, by signing him onto their team.


NFL teams value players who have served our nation (Arizona Cardinals' Pat Tillman); or those convicted of a crime and repented, trying to turn around their lives (Ray Lewis, Michael Vick, Dez Bryant, Ben Roethlisberger, Adrian Peterson, ..., this list is endless);

just NOT a lackluster QB who insists upon continually expressing his personal gripes against the United States, and essentially against the NFL, and his team,
which made/makes him a multi-millionaire.

Colin Kaepernick ought to cease his personal desire
to be a star NFL quarterback,
and focus upon just being a grateful, star American. 
THIS seems to be his greatest obstacle to success~

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Urban White Boy Discovers "Swamp Cooler" Technology From the 1960s


"I'm gonna go ahead and plant a tree here,
to shade the A/C unit further..."

This is the 21st Century version
of the wonderful "Swamp-cooler":



Watch this video to learn how to channel only 4-5 gallons of water per month onto your Central air conditioning unit's exterior cooling system, and uhh, maybe add some shade for the unit with shrubbery from the late day heat (*we like/use inexpensive Holly Bush) to drop your AC electricity consumption by at least 40%~

The next thing you know, some White guy will be announcing that he's discovered Window awnings or angular driveway landscaping to prevent Yard erosion.
Or the Wheel....
Well, DUHH~!

Common sense is so uncommon these days~~
"Back in my day, we called them 'Ditches, and we kept 'em clean of the filthy drunks and the malcontents, too'

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Many U.S. Congresspeople/Senators
Need Lead Poisoning

Enough Said.

If they want to be responsible for the next American Civil War, 
OK.

If they continue to oppose the will of the majority of Americans 
via the recent Presidential election,
so be it.
Get a rope~

Friday, August 4, 2017

'Dressed To Kill'

This little boy, 3-year old Monty Weer, met the First Lady Melania Trump earlier, and 
thier photo together has captured the hearts of the Nation...



Watch out Donald,
there's a
younger man,


eyeing your wife~

And Let's Face It, You, POTUS, 

Don'T Look good in a Bow Tie...

*(I think I'll copyright that~!)

Thursday, August 3, 2017

DON'T EVER SAY
Things Can't Get Any Crazier

Lovingly lifted from me~, over two years ago, this:

Ok boys and girls, that was The Eagles with "Lyin' Eyes", moving up the chart from number 21 to number 17 on this Week's American Top 40.

Now, we have a song dedication next, from Tammy in Memphis, Tennessee.  She writes:  "Dear Kasey, I'm not sure how to do this really, but I hope that it can be done.  And I believe that if anyone can accomplish this unusual dedication, it's you, Kasey."

"Cause you see, I can see the future, sort of... and what I see is a terrible situation for all us Americans, in about 37 to 38 years out;  around the year 2016 or 2017 AD.  In the next century, even."  

"Anyway, I'm just an unpretentious girl from Memphis
and yet I have great fears both for our country and for you too, Kasey... I believe that you will come to a very unusual, mysterious end around that time also.  You might even disappear entirely!" 

"OH, I hope my visions of the future are not true and that they are only the results of some bad acid my boyfriend Archie got from his brother in prison.  
Yours truly, Tammy in Memphis"

Dear Tammy, you are such a sweet girl, and thank you for being worried about yours truly, Kasey Kasim. But I am just fine, I feel great and in fact I am on top of the world... Nothing could possibly interfere with my plans for my retirement, hopefully years and years in 
the future you speak of. 
And as for our country, Tammy, the USA, in my own opinion, things couldn't get any crazier than they are
right now, here in 1979.

Now for that dedication:  It's the Manhattan Transfer, that upbeat Jazz group, whose only TOP 40 hit was back in 1975, with "The Boy From New York City" (it got to number 19).
Here's the Manhattan Transfer with "Twilight Tone", for me, Kasey Kasim.  




Kasey Kasem's body was flown from the funeral home in Tacoma, Washington to a funeral home in Montreal, Canada on July 14, two days before a judge ordered Kasey's widow Jean Kasem to keep the body in Tacoma for an autopsy.

But mysteriously, Kasey's body never arrived.

A representative for Kerri Kasem, Kasey's daughter,
has confirmed that her father's body is missing.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2697735/Casey-Kasems-body-MISSING-funeral-home-daughter-sought-autopsy.html#ixzz37vIzPejL


Hearin' the Twilight Tone, Here In the Twilight Zone

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Gone Fishin'~

I'm outta here until Thursday--

I'm going on a five-day fishing trip to the Gulf of Mexico with my best friend, Marty,~
Just us Okie- Indian Boys~  until Thursday. just the two of us, 
no wives, no kids~ Marty and I have not had any amount of real,
personal, buddy-buddy time in almost 6 years

By the time you read this, we've probably landed in Galveston, Texas,
on an expedition to fish the northern Gulf.

Details, more when I get back Thursday.  Or Friday. 

OK, Saturday, August 5


Friday, July 28, 2017

Meet The "IDIOT TRAW"

Me and the Idiot Traw

There was a time in my past when I played Dominos
FIERCELY.

... With another dominant Dominos player as my partner, whom we all called,
"The Idiot Traw".

He was unbelievably Fierce, in playing dominos, and in his physical presence, 6'5" ft. tall White boy,
a very intimidating posture at 25 years~ Very broad shoulders & naturally big muscled was/Is Traw~

But at best, Literally, our friend Traw,
was as dumb and as goofy as a stump full of rocks ~
Yet Unbeatable, were we two at playing Dominos.


We didn't have a scheme, or a system of eyebrows or shoulders; nor did we play footsie underneath the kitchen table where we fought opponents.
It was like Telepathy between us, between Traw and me.

It's a worthy story for this Bloggie~  And one of my most favourite memories:  Ahhh, the Idiot Traw.

By the Way, today, the Idiot lives in Norman, Oklahoma with his wife, and has 7 kids, at age 43

Traw and I were 'KILLERS' at Dominos.
Everyone in a 30-mile range came to TRY to beat us~  And while some partners did beat us, Traw and I won far, far, far more than we ever lost.

Traw and I grew to be the best of friends long before we discovered our passion, and our insistence on being partners playing Dominos--
As youths, we'd fished and hunted deer, duck, squirrles and rabbits together, as kids hunting with our dads first, then later been on drunken binges together, and we both/each saved each other from stupid deaths.
So maybe naturally, our mentally was aligned.

But Never More Than When we played Dominos as partners.

I remember Traw being the assassin, after I'd set him up for a score, and vice verse~

My favourite Domino piece  to play for points was the 2-1,

"The Snowball"  To me, this always started an avalanche of scoring points~

His favourite Domino piece was the '6-3'-- which he called "The Nasty Snowball", and so we worked in tangent to help each other throw nasty snowballs!

I'd play the Snowball, score 10 or 15 points, & then Traw would slam down the Nasty Snowball, & score us 20 or 25...

We Killed opponents on the Domino table, with alacrity.

Mr. Traw isn't a part of my present life, today,
But Traw will always be a beloved part
of my continuing life-- I'm SURE THAT WE COULD 
become Dominos teammates once again, and STILL WIN

A Font of Misinformation

Retailer apologizes after font makes ‘glitter’ appear to read as ‘Hitler’

The company’s chief marketing officer quickly responded after Twitter users pointed out that a tote bag carried a message that looked quite different than what its design intended.
At first glance, many customers misread the bag’s actual message, “My favorite color is glitter.”
Instead they saw, “My favorite color is Hitler.”




With the wrong font, a seemingly innocuous tote bag can get misinterpreted as mild hate speech. Check out the product below from the online retailer BelleChic, which Quotable Life designed and produced.

********
That's OK, I can identify, I can understand~  My first attempt 
at a Weblog was called "My Pen Is Mightier Than Your sWord".  But however, the confusing margins and Font type I chose made the blog masthead look like 
"My PenIs Mightier 
(second line) Than YoursWord"

Just a little uncomfortable, for uhh, everyone.... ~word!!
And so I expect that this line of ladies' handbags will be redesigned to be simply "Brilliant", just as my little bloggie, "The Local Malcontent" has become.

By the way, did you know that my favourite U.S. President is Ronald Ragin ? 

Where's a t-shirt designer, when you want one??

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, YOU DEPLORABLES YOU~!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Liberal TV "Evolution":
Enough Already With the Overt Sexuality

More Proof of Liberal, Socialist Democratic Hypocracy,

This time from the Un-aired Pilot of "Three's Company", from 1976

"Sin City, he calls it,", as Crissy's father calls 'Los Angeles'.  (and not the usual Chrissy either)

a full episode, featuring Norman Fell, as landlord Mr. Roper.

This episode really encapsulates the Liberal Hollywood freedom with words and caricatures which are now Off Limits by the same Liberal Hollywood TV writers:  Intolerant Christians, queer men, a lusty underlining theme between Jack and his two roommates, "Tinkerbell" interior decorators; Black crime in L.A., sexually-frustrated Jewish wives....

The word "Gay", to mean a man's sexual disorientation, used for the first time on American TV, at the 8:11 mark~  Because before that moment, the term used/written by the Hollywood Liberal TV writers was just plain "Queer".   --Archie Bunker, CBS's "All in The Family", 1974, two years earlier than ABC's attempt here with "3's C".
Notably however, both series featured Lesbian actresses, also~

So, in less than what, just over 40 years, Hollywood has transformed itself,
re-invented itself, from being only teasing and humiliating 1/10 of our national population--,
to the point now, where Hollywood honors and elevates this deviancy, every night, 7 nights a week.

And then there's the vulgar, disgusting ESPN channel, owned by ABC' parent company, Disney:

Just this week, a pointless article on ESPN(dot)COM
told about the struggles to find a place to relieve themselves, among Swedish bicyclists, which included this obscene photograph, which anyone/ children can view, still:

notice the second bicyclist.... closely~

This is nothing less than sexual abuse by Hollywood, California and by Disney Entertainment, especially.  The Disney corruptoration has, for a long time, emphasized public nudity and sexual deviancy in all their films, movies, TV shows, sports coverage and even kiddie cartoons.
That is why I strongly urge all financial divestment from the Disney corruptoration, and endorse a boycott of all things Disney, including ABC-TV, ABC-news, ESPN, DisneyLand, Disney World, Walt Disney movies, Disney channel, and anything else.
HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SLEEP AT NIGHT, KNOWING THAT THEY PROMOTE/ENDORSE PUBLIC SEXUALITY, SEXUAL DEVIANCY AND



Monday, July 24, 2017

This Guy IS Twice Her Age

One really ODD thing that I've noticed about myself, is that I seem to be more sexually attractive to the opposite sex during the last 1/2 of January and the last 1/2 of July.
Twice Every Year.  Without Fail.

The best part for me was, first 10 years ago when in January, 2007, I asked a teller at the bank I used in Red Oak, out on a date--- her name was/is Leticia... the rest is history~!

Then two years ago, my wife became pregnant in late July, something that I never thought possible, in my life, and the rest is medical history (at least where Dalhousie University medical technicians and we are concerned)~!

But just when I thought all that was probably over:  Today, July 24, 2017, I was 'pursued' by a young lady, who is HALF MY AGE, most aggressively!!  YES, I told her that I was very happily married, and YES, I have told Leticia about the encounter earlier today at the Pocola Choctaw Casino.

Maybe a month ago, I was driving up to the Pocola Choctaw casino around 9:45 am, when a grey Chevrolet coupe swerved in front of me to get to the employee parking lot.  That's also where I usually park my truck, so when this person almost collided with me, I made a point of waiting until the driver got out, to go inside.  
I then immediately jumped out my truck, and came up to her, to say that she ought to be more careful (!!) driving, she almost collided with me and all.  Well she apologized, and said that she was almost late for her job that she'd had for just a couple days.
~ and that was the end of that. Then.

Then two weeks later, I'm back at the Pocola Casino, and LO and Behold, there is this same girl, outside smoking in their break area, and she notices me lumbering in with my laptop and briefcase.
"I managed not to scare you today, Sir" she remarked, and I remembered her, and so I stopped to say 'Hello', you know, "How's your job going?" sort of stuff... just small talk...

She asked me if I worked there- I told her what I did there, though employed by the State of Oklahoma basically.
I noticed her name on her name badge....  I WON'T MENTION IT HERE, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE 3 LETTERS, in no particular order "Y,L,M". rhyming kinda with 'homily".

Fast forward to today, late July, time to go back to Choctaw Pocola--  I first stop at their convenience store for a bottle of green tea, and guess who is also in there? Yep, 'L.M.Y'.

First she sees me, then I give her a loud Hello.... she literally comes over to me at the Cooler door where the tea is, and starts RUBBING MY ARM up and down, from shoulder to wrist, back and forth, then her hand went to rubbing the middle of my lower back.
I get the bottle out, close the door, and kinda back away from her; and she came even closer to me, and asks me if I live around close by there- that she lives in Pocola, giving me details about how she drives from her apartment.... 
     
It's getting warm in the Travel Plaza



And literally, honestly, this is what she said next (and what I told Leticia just two hours ago, this afternoon):
"I think you are so f***ing sexy, I think about you all the time since we met, like I think you're so hot, like you drive me insane when I see you,"  Then she walked to the cashier, in a manner which men recognize .

Honest Injun, this is what happened between us this morning in that store.

And after I paid for the tea, I stood inside the store waiting for her to back out and leave, before I exited, to my truck.  And I then drove to and parked in that casino's parking garage, instead of where I usually parked.  And, I entered the casino through a different entrance.
And yet 'M.L.Y.' was inside, waiting on me, where I have to check in with their Security desk.

And that's where she did it:  She told me that she wanted to spend a night with me, that she was infatuated with Indian men, and that she couldn't stop thinking about Your Local Malcontent.
I told her I was very happily married, showed her my Wedding band, told her about Kelsey too--- all that didn't matter to her.  She wanted a hook-up with me.

***********
NOW, the revelation to Leticia:
So, I get home tonight, just after 6pm, and our home has that special smell, US, that I just love~  Daughter Kelsey runs to me just inside the doorway for a hug and a swing, kisses.
With her in my arm, I look for my wife, intent on VERY Firstly, telling her about what happened to me at my first (of three) stop, Pocola.

Leti takes Kelsey from my arms, kisses me, and tells me that "Umm, you smell good,"

Not Good Start.
I tell her that I have something I need to tell her about, and Leti gets that certain look, we both understand, and she put the baby into her baby swing.  

I told her ALL ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THIS MORNING, as well as the background info going back a month-- and 

Leticia's beaming, grinning, almost congratulating me that this girl, age 23, has got the Hots for me.
"You gonna do anything with her??" Leti asked me.  "OH, Hell no, babe", she's 23~!!, I said, mistakenly.


"Is she pretty?"  Leti teased me-  

"Yeah, I guess so, kinda, in a way, she's white, she's uh, about your size and all~  ~  BUT I'm your man, babe, nobody elses.  Not anytime.  Not anywhere. I promise, I promise"

And for some reason, Leticia Loves Me